Day 2 — Tuesday, June 18, 2024
1:00 AM #
I went for the bag of Skittles at the family lounge but it was empty. Justin said he had nervously eaten the whole bag.
I asked Justin to contact the Service Department and let them know that Shane wouldn’t make his Convention Talk in Richmond, VA in two weeks. He asked me if I was sure, because he knew how much Shane was looking forward to the talk on John. I said I didn’t see it working any other way.
I told them that I was relieved that Shane and I had a very good day. I did everything he asked and he did everything I asked. I realized as I sat there through the night that if we had been impatient or irritated with each other during the day, I would have faced such regret that night. Fortunately, it had been a good day.
4:00 AM #
The intracranial pressure continued to rise. The doctors recommended a hemi-cranectomy. A large part of the skull would be removed on the left side, the side opposite to the fracture. The scalp would be stapled back into place and that would make room for the brain to swell over the next few days. The removed piece of skull would be stored at the hospital and put back in place after many weeks of healing. If the missing skull could not be reused it would be replaced by a 3D printed carbon material. They would let me know which option was chosen after the surgery. I asked for a minute to pray. The doctor looked concerned about how long that might take. I said I wouldn’t delay. After the prayer I asked them what are the risks if no surgery is done. They said the swelling would continue until it suffocated the brain and life functions ceased. I also asked them to explain their steps to manage blood loss. After that I signed the consent for the surgery.
4:30 AM #
Temperature 99.4. They gave a Tylenol drip and more sedation.
5:00 AM #
They moved him to the surgical floor of the hospital. Justin and Gina Brooks, Josh and Gabrielle Gerber, and Emma Lamaire, the infirmary nurse, and Chris Fairley came with me to the surgical ICU waiting area.
6:00 AM #
Surgery prep began. They anticipated a 3–4 hour surgery.
10:00 AM #
Bob Rodish and Chris Fairley from HLC.
Bob’s wife has had serious brain surgeries. Her story is here: https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/101990288
He said they learned in traumatic events, you don’t always get good options. You may be forced to choose the least bad option of several bad options. The key is to not look too far in the future or too far in the past. Look for the next reasonable step. Sometimes the next reasonable step is another prayer.
We read Philippians 4:4–8 while we waited for the surgeons to come back. Philippians is a formula for keeping joy in the worst of circumstances. The formula starts in verse 8 and works its way upwards through the verses.
Verse 8 — “continue considering these things.” Actively manage your thoughts to stay on Jehovah and the good things he is doing.
Verse 7 — “the peace of God…guards your mental powers.” Jehovah’s unbreakable peace prevents us from unraveling mentally.
Verse 6 — Four kinds of prayer: “prayer, supplication, thanksgiving and petitions.”
- Prayer = general communication with Jehovah and praise
- Supplication = intense emotional request
- Thanksgiving = gratitude; gratitude interrupts anxiety
- Petitions = requests like for his will to be done and our spiritual and physical needs
Verse 5 — “let your reasonableness become known to all men.” All men in this case means doctors, nurses, care plan managers.
Verse 4 — the result of this series of steps is Joy. “I will say, Rejoice!”
Philippians 4:4-7 4 Always rejoice in the Lord. Again I will say, Rejoice! 5 Let your reasonableness become known to all men. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving, let your petitions be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are of serious concern, whatever things are righteous, whatever things are chaste, whatever things are lovable, whatever things are well-spoken-of, whatever things are virtuous, and whatever things are praiseworthy, continue considering these things.
11:00 AM #
A surgeon came and asked the group who was Shane’s wife. I raised my hand. He said “and the rest of you are family” I said yes. He smiled because he saw our friends are an international group. He said the surgery was a success and Shane tolerated it. They were not able to save the piece of skull. The replacement would be 3D printed material. The replacement surgery, cranioplasty, would be scheduled after 10 weeks of healing and rehab or more. They were able to see some of the hemorrhaging visually during the procedure. The left area of his brain that controls speech was very damaged. He may never speak. I said we’d learn sign language. He smiled and said I could go back with one other person. We thanked him and he left.
11:15 AM #
I went back with Shane. Intracranial pressure was down to 6. He was completely sedated and his head was shaved with 20 metal staples down the center of his head and wrapping around the back behind his left ear. The area of skull that was removed was as large as Shane’s hand with fingers spread. They put in JP drains which were plastic tubes under his scalp running into bulbs that the nurse changed when necessary. The nurse in surgical ICU attends only 2 patients during the whole shift. There is also a nurse at the nurses station who watches monitors of all vital signs of all the 8 patients in the unit and signals the doctors and head nurses when there is an issue. Before any of Shane’s vital signs got out of range, they were already tagging in and setting up medications just in case they needed to be given quickly. They confirmed that they would use pediatric vials to reduce further blood loss. Blood and cerebral spinal fluid still leaked from Shane’s right ear. It continued until the third day. I asked if there is a procedure to prevent that or to fuse the fractured portion of skull. There is not.
6:00 PM #
Nurse shift change. They ask me to leave the unit and go back to the waiting room. Many more visitors came and brought food and gifts like travel blankets, pillows and toiletries for washing up.
7:00 PM #
Back with Shane. I sang him a few original songs.
8:30 PM #
Visiting hours ended. I wanted to stay the night there on the bench. No visitors were supposed to stay overnight in the hospital. One of my friends asked me what Shane would want me to do. I said that question was unfair and of course that Shane would say I should go home to sleep. They drove me home. Vicki Dellinger an infirmary nurse managed to stay in the room a little longer.